Critical Language Check

The way we talk about our experiences shapes how we feel about them. Language can either empower your reality or disempower you. It can cloud fair assessments and throw your life (or your relationships) into chaos

(See how intense that statement felt, based on my use of the word “chaos?” Notice in you body if you feel like that’s a fair assessment!)

This simple practice comes from NLP and conscious communication work—it helps you notice when your words are distorting what’s actually happening, and bring your language (and energy) back into alignment.

Because your words aren’t neutral. They shape your perception, your emotions, and your entire experience of life.

Notice if you’re using any of these, and see if you can come up with a more balanced, fair, or accurate word.

1. Absolutes
Words like always, never, everyone, nothing often distort the truth.
Example: “He never listens to me” → “Lately, I’ve felt unheard during our conversations.”

2. Mind Reading
Phrases like he thinks, she wants, they did that because… assume we know someone else’s motives.
Example: “She ignored me because she’s mad” → “It seemed like she was distant; I wonder if something’s bothering her.”

3. Loaded Intensity
Words like devastated, destroyed, weaponized, humiliated can inflate the story.
Example: “He weaponized my emotions” → “He seemed to misinterpret my emotions through his own insecurity.”

4. Identity Statements
“I am” or “they are” turns behavior into identity.
Example: “I’m so needy” → “I’m feeling really anxious and wanting reassurance.”

5. Causality Assumptions
“You made me feel…” puts someone else in charge of your emotions.
Example: “You made me feel small” → “I felt small when you interrupted me.”

6. Generalized Proof
Phrases like it’s obvious, clearly, everyone knows disguise opinion as fact.
Example: “Obviously he doesn’t care” → “From my perspective, his actions felt distant.”

7. Emotional Absolutism
“I can’t handle it” or “I’ll never recover” freezes growth.
Example: “I’ll never trust again” → “I’m struggling to trust right now.”

8. Time Distortion
“Always been this way” or “never changes” blurs the timeline.
Example: “He always shuts down” → “He shut down in our last argument.”

Quick Reflection:
Is the language I’m using making me feel more powerful and discerning—or more powerless and stuck?