How to Have a Soul-Shaking Orgasm
Picture this.
You've carved out some uninterrupted time for self-pleasure.
But before you reach for your toy or even begin touching yourself, you simply close your eyes, quiet your mind, and focus in on your breath.
You start creating a visualization in your mind, working to relax your body, working to connect with different erotic energy centers within your body as you activate your sacral chakra.
You start to feel energy buzz up from your pelvic bowl into your stomach, into your chest, lighting your heart on fire.
Through a combination of visualization and breathwork, your body starts to shudder and undulate with erotic energy.
You haven't touched yourself yet.
Yet, through the power of the mind body connection, you've become fully aroused.
Could you orgasm now without having ever been touched?
You might.
But you wait in the zone of deliciousness, stoking the energy, turning it in on yourself at your root chakra, feeling the energy shift, moving through your body to pool and concentrate in your pelvic bowl, body tingling, pussy throbbing.
Now you start your ritual of pleasure.
But this time, instead of feeling the pleasure course through your body alone, you feel it expand and connect with the energy around you – connected to sensual energy and pleasure bigger than and far beyond your body.
And as you near your climax, you are propelled into a state at once in your body and outside of it, your consciousness touching into the Source.
Your pleasure as big and wide as the Universe.
What is a Cosmic Orgasm & How Can I Have One?
I define a cosmic orgasm as one in which you have a sense of leaving your body and/or connecting with divine Source energy.
It creates an orgasm that is bigger than you, bigger than your partner.
You may find yourself being transported to a different time, a different place.
You may discover some kind of wisdom is passed down to you from this experience.
If you’re having a cosmic orgasm with a partner, you both may be swept away on the ride. And your intimate bond will be intensified (intense isn’t even a strong enough word!).
Once you come back into your body, you may be pulsing or tingling with the extra energy you’ve created.
What could you do with all of that power?
When I had my first cosmic orgasm, my body drew itself up into the sky and I had a blissful orgasm among revolving constellations.
When I had my most profound cosmic orgasms, my life completely changed.
As my partner Enon brought my sexual energy up and up, my consciousness also rose up, to the top of the mountain we were laying under.
There, I was blessed with a vision of the future, a call to adventure that led me on this path to become a psychedelic sensuality coach. I know the vision is not over for what my life is to be like.
I was shown by bodiless ancient (or future?) beings that I would be able to use sensual power to heal our collective oppression, repression, and trauma around sex, sensuality, and pleasure.
It set me on my soul-aligned path in this world and the gratitude and life level-up I’ve experienced since can’t even be quantified.
This was beyond the Big O. This was cosmic sex at its best.
And so if you are curious about experiencing a cosmic orgasm, fully connected with your mind, body, and Source, so much so that you can transcend space and time then I want you to really sink in and give this article your full attention.
The Basics of Cosmic Orgasm Energy
Biologically, orgasms create energetic connections (through the release of delicious brain chemicals) . They can connect you to yourself, to your partner(s), and to Source.
Orgasms release oxytocin (connection and bonding) and dopamine (pleasure, satisfaction, and motivation).
When you turn your orgasm onto the universe or higher consciousness, you can also more strongly connect to these higher states of being.
Often you'll see posts on social media of people warning you to be careful about who you have sex with under what circumstances because of that sense of connection that's built on an energetic level.
These messages tell us to protect our energy at all costs, to abstain from casual sex and can send a message that seems to say, if you’ve been abused you’re in energetic trouble.
Yikes. That’s not the world I want to live in, and fortunately this view doesn’t take into account how energy and experience actually work.
We’re not so fragile that we need to protect our energy against invading toxic evilness at all costs.
Making energetic slips and mistakes is all part of the growth process.
And for many of us, we’ve had experiences that were outside of our control.
If you have sex with someone and wish you hadn’t, you’re not energetically damaged.
Any experience is an opportunity to shift your energy to align with greater healing, pleasure, and purpose.
These connections and soul-markings can be used as wisdom, resilience, or just simply exist as an imprint without placing judgment on them or by requiring them to be anything other than they are.
What this kind of understanding allows for is an enhanced awareness for how you can intentionally create bonds through conscious orgasm connection.
And that’s just what this article aims to show!
We’ll run through some techniques for achieving cosmic orgasm, as well as some of the most common blocks that you'll need to clear before moving into the technique section.
Once you read this, you’re probably not going to hop on into bed and have a cosmic orgasm tomorrow (though you might!).
This article is an invitation to start your journey to cosmic orgasms.
While I can still count on two hands how many times I have had one that just fully puts me into this completely different energetic state, the more you practice it, the more you will have one.
So I encourage you to approach this exploration with an open mind and a spirit of adventure.
Common Blocks to Cosmic Orgasms
I believe everyone has the potential for having a cosmic orgasm.
Yet most of us carry blocks to letting go that much.
If you've done a lot of sexual shadow work and consciously practiced releasing individual and collective shame and repression that we have around our pleasure and sexuality, you may be closer to having a cosmic orgasm.
If you haven't done any of that work, this is an amazing way to start.
What a powerful intention to set on having a cosmic orgasm!
If you haven't ever done any kind of shadow work specifically around sex and intimacy just know that this may be a bit of a process.
If you want a guided acceleration through that process, you can go ahead and get in touch with me for coaching sessions around releasing these blocks.
Mind Body Imbalance
One of the most common blocks to having a cosmic orgasm is having an imbalance in your mind-body connection.
Disconnected Body
Some of us are so disconnected from our bodies that we don't even recognize emotions flowing through us.
Do you struggle to identify emotions or sensations in your body?
Sometimes this happens because of traumas or experiences that lead us to shut down our connection between our mind and our body.
Overconnected Brain
Perhaps you find yourself constantly in your head, analyzing, thinking, over-thinking, and worrying about the future or the past.
You may have a hard time sitting in stillness or quiet, or find yourself so busy you hardly have time for slow, deep pleasure.
If you're having sex or you're self pleasuring, do you think about your to-do list or that thing you said to so-and-so?
Do you have a dialogue in your head centered around how you’re looking during sex or wondering, “am I doing this right?”
This could be a sign of a mind-body imbalance.
Emotional Overload
Or maybe you feel emotions with such an intensity that they are difficult to manage.
Are your emotions sometimes too strong to let you feel into the sensations in your body?
Surprisingly, this can also be a sign that your brain is being over-active.
Especially if you tend to attach stories or meanings to your emotions that help them spiral out of control.
If your emotions are in charge, you can feel less present and connected to the sensations in your body.
Mind-Body Balance
When your brain and body are in balance, you’ll find it relatively easy to quiet intrusive thoughts and be fully present to the moment and sensations between your body and your partner’s.
When you are balanced, you can start to practice controlling those sensations–both in your body and in your partner’s.
You can feel into where you get the most pleasure, and what is really getting their rocks off.
Being able to amplify pleasure sensations or diminish them or ride constant waves of pleasure is a sign that you can start the practices for achieving a cosmic orgasm.
I've noticed one of the most exciting things about orgasm control for me is stoking the tipping point for as long as I can.
There've been experiences where I felt like I could just go on forever, riding up to the top of the roller coaster drop for hours…and only the conscientiousness I had toward my partner and the work they were putting in allowed it to release.
Being able to kind of control and ride your waves of pleasure only happens when you're able to drop out of your head and into your body.
2. Psychological or physiological blocks
We've all had some kind of conditioning against pleasure and leaning into our fullest, healthiest expression of our sexuality.
Especially if you come from a religion/culture/family where pleasure was disallowed.
Even if you had a relatively mild upbringing around sex, we are constantly bombarded with messages about what sex should look like, what our bodies should look like, what is “good” or “bad” when it comes to sex and pleasure, and a whole host of other shadows that can block us from embodying our most sensually activated selves.
Psychological blocks can be cleared through shadow work, coaching, therapy, somatic healing, or another intentional practice.
Physiological blocks, such as experiencing pain during sex or self-pleasure are more obvious challenges.
Perhaps you don’t experience pain, but you also don’t experience that much pleasure.
A lot of us think that we are uniquely debilitated in these areas, but honestly, physiological blocks are one most common issues that people come to sex coaching to be guided out from.
So if you feel like there is something going on with you that is blocking you from pleasure, that's the time to get a pleasure coach!
A therapist or other healer can help you through this work as well so you can be fully open to experiencing blissful pleasure.
3. Not feeling free & relaxed
If you tend to be on the more controlling side during sex, if you have trouble staying present, or if you have trouble letting go, you may find yourself in your head a little too much.
If you are feeling anxious or if you're stressed or if you have constant negative self-talk around how you look or how you are, you may struggle to open up fully to the pleasure experience.
Or if you have shame or guilt around sex and pleasure, you might not feel free enough to let go and fully experience the surrender to a cosmic orgasm.
Some of the tips that I give later are going to help you kind of find that freedom in your mind and in your body to be able to fully go there.
4.Health, Wellness, & Self Love
I don’t actually know if this is a hard requirement, but I didn’t start experiencing cosmic orgasms until I came to a place in myself that was full of self love and sensual liberation.
I have the sense that a mind shadowed by criticism around body image would have a harder time achieving this kind of wide-open pleasure-ride.
I do also know that when I’m not feeling my best, or if I’m worrying about my body poofiness, I struggle to stay connected to my body in a way that would allow for a cosmic orgasm (I haven’t had one in this state yet!).
The good news is self-love practices are powerful in shifting your relationship to your body and mind.
Sometimes all we need to feel good about ourselves is to feel like we’re in a zone of progress.
Ways to support that are through healthy activities that nourish your body and soul.
Also, just being sure that you’re fully hydrated is one of the most important cornerstones for being able to have an orgasm in general!
Your pussy and all of your clitoral complex, all of that requires water and hydration to fill up and get really juicy.
5. Too O-Focused
Surprise! Our final block is being too focused on having a soul-shaking orgasm.
This is a cultivated practice, not a given experience.
It takes time, patience, and a willingness to experiment.
The journey is probably the most rewarding, because through this you’ll be undoing limiting conditioning and stepping up your pleasure experiences.
If you end up having a cosmic orgasm–fuck yes!
If you take the pressure off of yourself, just like with any other kind of orgasm, you’ll be more likely to achieve it.
As we close out the common blocks, I just want to reiterate that none of these blocks are permanent or irreversible.
All of them can be addressed with the help of specialized practitioners.
You can easily schedule an appointment with me or find another way to release these blocks!
What is embodied visualization and how can it awaken sensual power?
The most powerful practice I’ve been using in different areas of my life where I want to feel most empowered and attract the most energy from is embodied visualization.
Embodied visualization is a technique that involves using mental imagery to create a sensory experience in the body.
Unlike traditional visualization, which may say something like, “imagine you’re standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, enjoying its view” embodied visualization focuses on creating vivid, realistic mental images that engage the senses.
Such as, “imagine you’re standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Your bare feet wiggle in the dust, feeling small rocks and imperfections in the earth’s surface. It’s hot and a little humid. A sweat starts to build across your forehead, its warmth pulsing down your face, across your neck and shoulders, where the heat pools in your chest.”
That’s gonna pack a bigger embodied punch, yeah?
Embodied visualization is used in a variety of contexts with powerful results.
It’s most commonly used in sports training, and therapy, but I’ve been applying it to sensual exploration, like in the little description at the start of this article.
Embodied visualization may be used in combination with other techniques, such as mindfulness, breathing exercises, or movement practices, to create a more immersive and impactful experience.
One study published in "Cerebral Cortex" found that imagining a physical sensation, such as touch, can activate the same brain regions that are activated when actually experiencing that sensation.
The study used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure brain activity in participants who were asked to imagine touching different textures.
The results showed that the brain regions associated with touch were activated during the visualization, suggesting that embodied visualization can create a similar sensory experience to actual physical touch.
Associated Visualization (first person)
Associated visualization involves creating a mental image in which you are fully immersed and experiencing the sensation as if it's happening to you in the present moment.
For example, visualizing an erotic fantasy in which you imagine the sounds, smells, and touch sensations as if they’re happening in real time and as seen through your own eyes.
Dissociated Visualization (third person)
Dissociated imagining, on the other hand, involves creating a mental image in which you’re viewing the experience from a distance, as if watching it happen to someone else.
For example, if you’ve never had a threesome before, you may imagine it happening with you as the star of the show, where you can see your expressions and your interactions as if you’re watching it on a TV screen.
Both associated and dissociated visualization can be useful tools for enhancing the level of pleasure you’re able to feel in your body and the states of ecstasy you’re able to reach.
Associated visualization can create a more immersive and realistic experience, allowing you to fully engage with your senses and emotions and embody and experience as if it were actually happening..
Disassociated visualization can create a sense of safety, more suited to allowing you to “try on” sexual fantasies without triggering shame, fear, or worry.
Dissociated visualization is helpful in clearing blocks and tuning into a more empowered state, while associated visualization is helpful for embodiment and linking new emotional sensations to scenarios that you’d like to experience in real life.
13 Benefits to using embodied visualization for deeper pleasure and connection
Increased Sensitivity: Embodied visualization can make you become more attuned to your senses and can help you notice more, allowing you to experience pleasure more deeply and fully.
Heightened Arousal: By focusing on erotic images or sensations, sensual visualization can help to increase arousal and desire. This is a great practice before sex, especially if you like a fair amount of foreplay!
Improved Body Image: Visualization exercises that focus on self-love and acceptance can help you develop a more positive body image and feel more confident in your sensual self.
Enhanced Intimacy: Connect more deeply with your partner or yourself by visualizing the most compassionate, loving, and sexy version of yourself or your partner.
Deeper Relaxation: Visualization exercises are widely used to promote relaxation and reduce stress–opening you up beautifully for a BIG-O.
Expanded Sensual Repertoire: By exploring new erotic scenarios or sensations through visualization, you can expand your sensual repertoire and discover new ways to experience pleasure. As you feel into your creativity, you may even come up with some new tricks to try with your partner!
Increased Sexual Confidence: As you become more comfortable with sex and sensuality through visualization, you may find that your confidence and sexual empowerment increase!
Cosmic Orgasms: You can Connecting to the divine & Source power
Stronger Visualization: Visualization can be used to draw power into any area of your life. As you become more practiced in embodied visualization you can try experimenting with other focuses, such as finances or career.
Manifestation & Sex Magic: Use visualization to redirect potent sexual energy in a sex magic ritual or manifestation practice.
Increased Focus: The muscle you’re working in visualization is the same muscle you use to focus on important tasks or sit in meditation.
Improved Sexual Function: With embodied visualization you can help rewire your brain and body for better performance, less anxiety, and to overcome a myriad of psychological or physiological blocks.
Deconditioning Collective Cultural and Ancestral Sexual Trauma: Reclaim agency over your body and your sexuality safely and privately. You can use this technique to reframe and reshape negative beliefs and patterns that have been inherited from cultural and ancestral trauma. This is a powerful tool for healing and transformation!
6 Techniques for Sensual Visualization and Experiencing Soul-Shaking Orgasms
1. Intentional Practice
If you’re ready to start practicing cosmic orgasms and embodied sensual visualization, the very first step is to set up an intentional practice.
This means that you are coming to your practice on a set schedule. You're being intentional by setting aside the time to practice this. Whether you're setting up your pleasure ritual to happen first thing when you wake up in the morning or before you go to bed, it's really important to have a set time and space for practicing this.
One of my favorite quotes that I heard through Jay Shetty says, “time has memory, location has energy.” For example, if you walk into a sacred space, like a monastery (the example Jay Shetty used) where monks have been meditating for thousands of years, you can feel the energy in there.
Similarly, your bedroom may have a certain energy or your kitchen may be associated with a certain energy or emotion.
Be intentional about the place that you choose for your practice. You’re going to be adding a lot of powerful energy to that place.
The other half of this quote is that time has memory.
Time is what makes habit building so strong.
If you wake up and you have your morning ritual of making coffee, if you don't make your coffee that morning, your body's going to crave it.
Your body’s going to say, “Oh! It's coffee time. Where's our coffee?”
So set aside your special time and your special place, and be willing to adopt this as an intentional practice.
2. Sex rituals
You can practice adding more ritual to solo or partnered sessions.
Ritual helps create more intense experiences because it sets a specific intention and creates a focused and intentional energy.
When we engage in a ritual, we are consciously creating a specific atmosphere and mindset that allows us to tap into a deeper level of consciousness and awareness.
By intentionally curating our environment, such as through lighting or space, and setting specific intentions, we can create a more immersive experience that helps us connect more deeply with our senses and emotions.
This can enhance the experience and create a more profound and meaningful connection with ourselves or with others.
By regularly engaging in a ritual, we create a sense of routine and habit, which can further strengthen the connection and intensity of the experience over time.
Environment
Create a sexy environment you can sink into and feel enriched by.
Candles are really lovely and energetic.
You could even dive into what different candle colors support, or you can set up beautiful little string lights that give you a more ethereal feeling.
Blankets, plants, and crystals or other trinkets that symbolize sensuality are great to include.
You can even start your ritual with an oil rub to awaken your skin and scent senses.
Clean & Clear
Making sure that your space is cozy and clear of clutter. Cluttered spaces are major energetic blockers.
If you struggle with clutter, prioritize keeping that one space clear from clutter and making sure that you are going to be as comfortable as possible.
You can also energetically cleanse your space with a sage smudge or palo santo. Even opening a window can let in a literal and figurative “breath of fresh air!”
Before you start, make sure you have everything you need near you. Maybe a glass of water, and any kind of aftercare products you may like to have around.
Intention
Set an intention before you begin, either with yourself or with a partner. You can both set different intentions or share your intentions and work to come to a similar intention.
Enter into the act of pleasure with the goal of being more present. It's similar to the practice of meditation, where if you have a thought, you simply let that thought float on by without deeply engaging with it or feeling too strongly about it.
In a similar way, whatever comes up that's not directly related to pleasure or isn't something that needs to be addressed between you and a partner, just let that thought float on by without engaging it and refocus your energy and attention on your body and the sensations you're experiencing.
Finally, I also believe it's important to check in with yourself or your partner after the experience. What felt really good? What surprised you? What did you notice?
Having some space and time for reflection at the end of your practice to bring to more awareness stuff that might become lost if you just go on with your day.
Ground in and give yourself compassionate awareness to note “this felt really good”, or, “I want to try more of this next time.”
3. Guided Visualization or Sensual Meditation
While this is one of the more powerful techniques, I haven’t found too many satisfactory guides online. If you find one you like, please share it with me!
I’ve created a free guided visualization for you that you can go and use specifically around awakening your cosmic orgasms.
Guided visualizations or sensual meditations can help you slow down and tune in and practice being and feeling into your body.
This is especially good if you have a busy mind and you want a little bit of more structure and guidance through powerful imagery designed to awaken your sensual power.
4. Audio Erotica
Audio erotica is similar to guided visualizations in that it can help you kind of tune in and tap into more erotic visualization states.
Audio erotica for me isn't one that's going to bring me to a cosmic orgasm necessarily, but it's a great technique for practicing central visualization and potentially experiencing stronger orgasms.
Some audio erotica can lead you through the practice of edging, which is a wonderful pleasure game of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm without letting yourself go over.
It can help elongate your pleasure practice and intensify your orgasms.
This is my low-key, not-low-key way of saying you’ve got to try one of these!
5. Breathwork
Breathwork is a somatic practice whereby you use your breath to stoke sensual energy in your body.
Breathwork can also help you ground more into your body.
This is especially good again if you tend to live a little bit more in your head.
Learning different breathwork practices for how to achieve stronger orgasms or just be more present during sex is going to be really helpful in the sensual visualization experience.
Breathwork Practice
To start a sensual breathwork practice, I invite you to first become aware of your breath during sex (or solo pleasure).
Can you breathe more deeply and more fully into your pelvic bowl and deep into your low lungs and belly?
And then you can notice how you breathe when you orgasm?
Many of us hold our breath during our orgasm.
Practice trying to breathe through your orgasm with longer, deeper breaths.
You can practice making sounds with your breath and how that might enhance your pleasure.
You can also see what happens if you use breathwork if you're struggling to have an orgasm.
What if you start breathing a little bit faster? What if you start stoking your energy into a more frenetic state? What would happen then?
Breathwork is a playful practice. I encourage you to try different breathing patterns with different focuses and see what the experience is like.
6. Energy work
And finally, the last piece of the cosmic orgasm puzzle is energy work.
This is a practice of being able to sense and shift the energy within your body, or just notice what kind of energy is being created.
When I had one of my most profound cosmic orgasms, I was so flowing with energy, it felt like it had completely taken over my body.
I knew that there were ways I could direct the energy, but I wasn't practiced in knowing how to direct it.
To do intense cosmic-level energy work, I highly recommend using a practitioner or a teacher to help you understand how to use the energy that you cultivate during orgasm.
However, there are a few beginner steps I can point you toward here.
Energy practice
Energy
The very first step is just noticing what energy feels like in your body.
Is it a buzz or warm sensation? Do you feel it in your chest, your legs, your belly? Does it stay in one place or radiate outward?
As you start to become more and more filled with energy as you stoke prana, or life force, through arousal, notice how different your body feels.
Creativity
The energy of sex and pleasure is connected to the energy of creation.
You might find yourself wanting to get creative as you focus on this energy, or that your brain becomes a little more hazy and wavy as it disconnects from the analytical mind.
To learn how to direct sexual energy, you may focus on the after-effects.
You might feel drawn to a creative activity or just laying there in your delicious daydreaming thoughts.
Sex Magic
There are many levels to sex magic, but one of the beginner paths is playing with the energy you create.
As you stoke your energy and build up closer to orgasm, which is a massive release of energy, you can practice holding onto that energy without orgasming. Bring yourself to the brink of orgasm and deny yourself that orgasm.
Just see how that changes your day. ;)
Troubleshooting Embodied Visualization
If you’re having trouble with your Embodied Visualization practice and you’d like some guidance, reach on out!
Often blocks within this practice are easy to clear.
It’s equally (and frustratingly) true that our brains are often the biggest barrier to our success in any realm.
If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or self conscious, or if you have difficulty concentrating, these are all signs that your muscles in this area need some working out.
Don’t be discouraged. The work lies in coming back to your practice with intention, compassion, and consistency.
