Your results are in!

You probably know you tend to get stuck in your head

  • Small interruptions can throw you off your game
  • You worry about what you’re supposed to do and feel, how to do it, and whether they can tell you’re not really into it
  • You tend to idealize your partner(s) and relationships
  • You sometimes check out or dissociate during sex
  • Your brain burns hotter than your body

But that’s not the real issue…

Your big goal

To be fully in your body during sex, feeling every bit of juicy, delicious pleasure (while your brain finally takes the night off)

But…

Your brain is on high-alert, and pleasure can’t get past the trigger-happy security guard.

Being in your head is the symptom of a deeper issue. Your nervous system believes it’s unsafe to fully feel and let go.

SECURITY

Here’s the nerdy science behind what’s really going on

Your nervous system is always scanning for safety, below conscious thought.

When it picks up even a hint of risk (being judged, disappointing someone, getting hurt), it keeps the thinking part of your brain switched on to watch for trouble.

Sex researchers call this

spectatoring

Watching yourself from the outside instead of feeling from the inside.

Arousal works like a car with an accelerator and brakes.

Your monitoring system has its foot on the brake, so no matter how good the touch is, your body tenses up or your brain says “byyyeee” and distances itself from the sensation.

Problem is, orgasm requires the watchful, controlling parts of your brain to quiet TF down. But your brain has hired security, and they won’t stand down until your body believes it’s safe to.

So the fix works on two layers

Layer one

Body-based practices give your attention somewhere better to go, and they work.

Layer two

Pair them with tools that teach your nervous system it’s safe to let go, and your internal safety monitor will happily sip some tea in the break room.

Imagine this

You feel fully at home in your body, and pleasure comes easily.

You are so present to the feeling of their hands on your body you can think of nothing else. You don’t question the last text they sent, you don’t rattle off worst-case scenarios when they don’t call you back. You’re too busy feeling good.

People who experience critic-silencing pleasure are doing 3 things

1

They’re fully present in the moment.

They’re not worried about what their body looks like, whether or not they left the gas on (but omg did I?!), or if they’re truly enjoying it. They know what they like, and they know how to surrender fully to the moment.

2

They know how to regulate an overactive nervous system.

Your nervous system is in protection mode, and you need to learn how to let it relax so you can drop fully into your body. Somatic practices are key to getting good at being in your body.

3

They drop the performance.

Be genuine. Ask for what you want. Speak up if you left your body and need a moment to re-group. Communication will help you feel safer and safer to be in your body and express your needs.

Ready to get out of your head for good?

Drop Into Your Body is a collection of 9 practices you can start tonight.