Why You’re Still Jealous
(even after doing all the work)
Discover the hidden emotional blueprint that’s secretly running your life so you can finally change it
Stop spiraling into jealous behaviors & finally feel secure in love.
You know you shouldn’t feel this way.
You know your partner loves you.
But the second a jealousy trigger hits?
BOOM.
Your nervous system hijacks your brain like a toxic ex who won’t stay away.
The worst part is, you’re left asking:
“Why am I like this?”
Jessica Alfaqih, M.A.
Neurosomatic Coach
Master NLP Practitioner
Certified Sex and Relationship Coach
Let’s get Secure and Satisfied
I’ve been seeing this issue in my clients: many of these self-aware, emotionally intelligent, deeply feeling women want to feel secure in their relationships—but no matter how much they work on themselves, they find themselves trapped in patterns of jealousy, overthinking, and fear of abandonment.
Even in a stable relationship, they often feel:
That familiar heart-pound and stomach flare-up that says “I’m still not safe”
Anxious about their partner’s motives and the longevity of their relationship
Get caught in self-judgment, ashamed for feeling this way despite “knowing better”
They’re exhausted. And they don’t want to be the jealous, insecure partner.
I know this struggle personally. For years, jealousy dictated who I let myself be friends with, what activities I would do, and how much I micromanaged our relationship to feel safe. The more I went to therapy, listened to podcasts, and read books, the worse I felt. The disconnect between what I “knew” and what I “felt” kept growing.
I realized that was because jealousy isn’t in your head—it’s in your nervous system.
And once I started to change the way I experienced jealousy in my body, I finally bridged the gap between what I knew and how I felt.
Why is it so hard to just be f*cking secure?
Look, if logic alone could fix this, you’d already be secure.
And most relationship advice skips the part where your nervous system is running the show.
Tips like, “just acknowledge your feelings” is like telling someone drowning to “just wave your arms.”
Jealousy, insecurity, and relationship anxiety run deep through your body’s internal systems that dictate what you believe, how you feel, and how you act and react.
We all have a core emotional blueprint that is, for most of us not exactly setting us up for security because your nervous system’s biological function is to keep you safe.
Safe from things that hurt you.
Like having your heart broken.
Like not being good enough.
Like being rejected.
These aren’t just core wounds.
They shape what you believe, how you behave, and how secure (or how wildly unhinged) you feel in relationships.
Feeling secure doesn’t happen because you’ve proved your worth, fixed yourself, or found the “right” partner who never triggers you.
The first step is to get a sense of the emotional blueprint that triggers you into jealousy, insecurity, or anxiety.
Once you map it, you can re-route your trajectory—so that you move toward deeply rooted trust, confidence, and relationship security.
When you integrate deep inner security, everything else just “clicks” into place.
You feel more rooted in the present moment without your mind running a marathon of “what ifs”
You don’t have to constantly wage war against yourself for feeling jealous
Release the mental scripts saying “Why am I feeling this way?” “Do I need to say something?” “Am I totally unhinged?”
You finally get to experience presence, ease, and the deep, undeniable knowing that you are safe in love because you are safe in yourself
BUILD YOUR VERY OWN
Your next step:
Somatic Security System
The way you experience jealousy isn’t random—it follows a predictable pattern shaped by your past experiences, attachment style, and core wounds.
If you experience intense jealousy (even if you know better) it’s not because you’re broken or you’re crazy or you’re “just a jealous person.”
You’ve just built your security system to solve for the wrong problem.
You think that if you can control the trigger situation, if you can get jealousy to not occur, then you’ll be safe.
When the truth is, triggers will happen. You can’t control that.
But when you regulate how you feel in your body, everything else changes.
How do you do that? ↓
Get out of the jealousy cycle
Pssst…everything you need is inside the Secure Love Playbook
Get 60+ pages of joiurnal prompts, guided practices, progress trackers, and all the skills you need to turn intense jealousy into lasting security
and it’s all yours for just $27
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"I love this all! (so much!!!) I look forward to working on it. Thank you Jess!!
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"Thank you so much! You have a really beauitful way of synthesizing and articlating hte power of incorporating new processes. I'm excited to try these out."
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"I def need this practice to be empowered or I will default, as I do, to giving my power away."
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"I already used the safe space when getting triggered and it helped a lot. The way my body felt shifted and I pulled myself out of it. I will continue to grow that muscle."
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"Omg thank you SO MUCH. These look like fucking helpful AF exercises. I can't wait. Especially writing about who I am. I think I forgot about myself parts of this year."
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I wanted to share another win! When I feel a strong emotion instead of judging myself and thinking "why am I feeling this" I think, "how can I care for myself?" And that shift feels like a huge brain upgrade.
Inside you’ll find…
+ Secure Communication Scripts
+ 30 days of secure love mantras
+ Inspirational quotes and
images
Only $27!
+ Feeling & sensing quick-reference guide
You’ll come away with knowing how to calm jealousy and anxiety in real time, stop hyper-vigilance and overthinking spirals, and retrain your nervous system to feel safe in love.
“This has been the most beneficial investment of time and intention, of steady-paced and permanent impact.”
Does this sound helpful af?
“Your support, expertise, and genuine care is heaven sent. You are such a badass, no lie!”
“I always wanted this kind of support but didn’t know who to trust.”
My Deep Wish For You:
I want you to allow your heart to love fully without that little voice whispering, “But what if this ends?” or “What if I’m too much?” or “What if I get hurt?”—because you’ll know, deep in your bones, that no matter what happens, you will always be okay.
I want you to know that you are worthy of big, beautiful, soul-shaking love, not because you’ve become the “chill girl,” not because you’ve eradicated every insecurity…
…but because you have a cache of powerful tools that bring you back to your value every time insecurity creeps in.
Triggers will happen, old fears will pop up. But when they do, I want you to feel so damn confident in your ability to recenter, recalibrate, and root back into security that jealousy and shame no longer run the show.
Hello beautiful human, I’m Jess
I’m a Neurosomatic Sex & Relationship Coach of mixed Lebanese-American heritage, living and working on the ancestral and unceded land of the Chochenyo (Cho-chen-yo) speaking Ohlone people.
I help women who’ve tried everything stop the jealousy spiral so they can reclaim self-worth, relationship security, and BIG love.
I blend body-based practices with brain-rewiring techniques to help you shift jealousy, insecurity, and anxious attachment at the root so that security becomes your default.
My work is science-backed, pleasure-centered, and designed to feel good—because healing doesn’t have to be exhausting. Through my courses, classes, and workshops, I make the transformation process feel aligned, accessible, and actually fun (even if you normally struggle to prioritize self-care).
